18 July 2001
Our current howler (part II): Too hot to trot
Synopsis: It was too hot to run, Barbara Olson said. But its never too hot to dissemble.
Commentary by Ann Coulter
Larry King Live, CNN, 7/17/01
Commentary by Juan Williams
Fox News Sunday, Fox News Channel, 7/15/01
Commentary by Barbara Olson
Larry King Live, CNN, 7/16/01
Once in a while, they just get delusional. Last night on Larry King Live, a caller had a tangential question. Could Chandra Levy be charged with a crime if it turns out that she is in hiding? Luckily, one guest had already thought it through:
ANN COULTER: I had thought about that, I mean, it struck me, very late one night. Best alternative possibility thatI mean, I have to say its a great way to get a congressman in trouble, going into hiding. The problem with that theory is it is insane because you would have to have a conspiracy of that half a dozen people who are committing a crime. It is a crime to
At this point, others cut Coulter off, saying there would be no crime. Michael Zeldin said, "Ann, I think you should go to bed earlier. I dont think there is a crime of going into hiding." But after all the fun was done, Coulter fleshed out her theory:
COULTER: She would have had to have done this in cahoots with her aunt, the stewardess, her parents
She would have to have been in cahoots with the stewardess? No one thinks its likely that Levy is hiding. But Coulters theory only makes sense in the psycho wardwhich is pretty much where Coulter is, by the way, when she appears now on Larry King Live.
If our TV pundits didnt exist, could you ever have dreamed this crew up? Could you ever have dreamed that Americas discourse would be handed to dregs such as these? Plainly unbalanced; dishonest; dissemblingthey parade their strange wares on TV every night. Think back to the day you came of age, dearest reader. Could you ever have dreamed that the worlds leading nation would have honored spots for dissemblers like these?
There is simply nothing our pundits wont saynothing so stupid that it wont be expressed, and used to try to get you to think that someone has committed a murder! Lets think back to the addled idea Juan Williams put forward last Sunday (see THE DAILY HOWLER, 7/16/01). Williams, of course, was trying to suggest that Chandra Levy left her home on May 1 with Gary Condit:
WILLIAMS: Chief [Gainer], what do you take away from the fact that Chandra Levy had nothing but her keys on her when she disappeared? Ive read where one columnist suggests there are only two places a woman doesnt take her purse, and that would be to the gym or on a motorcycle. And we know that congressman Condit has a motorcycle.
Hint hint hint. There are, of course, many places where "a woman doesnt take her purse;" Williams was simply dissembling again, as he so frequently does (more on Williams long-standing problems with the truth in a later HOWLER). But just stop to consider the sheer stupidity of the scenario Williams imagines. As has been well established, Condit was almost obsessive about secrecy; he hid his face to take Chandra to lunch. But in Williams mind, when Condit decides to murder his gal, he roars right up to her house on his chopper, and rides her off like Black Jack Davy. No one would ever notice that.
But defectives like the hapless Williams now rule the American discourse. Theres no scenario too absurd to pushas long as it convicts Gary Condit. Like us, the hapless pundits have no way of knowing what actually happened to Chandra Levy. But they are bound and determined to pretend that they doand theyre willing to say whatever comes to mind if it helps to convict target Condit.
How dishonest will our pundits be? Lets revisit uber-dissembler Barbara Olson on Monday nights Larry King Live. As is perfectly obvious from the factual record, its entirely likely that Chandra Levy went jogging on May 1. (This doesnt mean she was harmed while jogging. She may have jogged, come home, then gone out again.) But pundits like Olson dont even want you to think that Chandra may have taken a run; they only want you to suspect Gary Condit. So Olson went to work Monday night. King was asking his women guests if they would jog without their ID:
OLSON: Certainly not in that area, I wouldnt. I think thats why Chandra did belong to a gym. And its odd that she had her key and nothing else with her packed [sic]. Now, maybe you say shes a runner, she quit her gym, but she was packed and ready to go. We know shes been on the Internet that morning at least until 12:30 or 1:00 in the afternoon. Good jogging time? Not in D.C. It doesnt seem to add up.
Olson seemed to imply that it would be too hot to run. (Thats how Laura Ingraham understood her; "I dont think thats all that unusual, even on a hot Washington day," Ingraham said in response to Olson. Duh.) But is it hot in D.C. on May 1the day when Levy disappeared? According to the National Weather Bureau, the average high temp in D.C. on May 1 is a stifling 71 degrees! It is, of course, a perfect day and a perfect time to run in Rock Creek Park. Did Levy do so? We dont know. But neither, of course, does Barbara Olson. Olson was simply spinning againbecause she wants you to picture Condit committing murder.
Could you ever have dreamed that this crew would exist? That our discourse would be handed to such utter defectives? To the addled gang whom we now honor, its too hot to run in D.C. on May 1; women take purses everywhereexcept on big Harleys; and Levy would have to check with Anne Marie Smith before she could go into hiding. And of course, its perfectly OK to dissemble and spin to accuse a person of murder!! Meanwhile, slumbering hosts like compliant King act as if it all makes sense. If you hadnt seen our TV pundits, could you ever have dreamed the crew up?
Temps time: According to the 5/2 Washington Post, the high in Washington this May 1 was 82 degrees, at 3:11 PM (up from a low of 54 that morning). (The May 1 Post predicted: "Warm and pleasant.") Humidity was low for the area30 percent. It happened to be a great day to run. Did Levy run? Our pundits dont know. But Olsonby now an instinctive dissemblerwent on TV to pretend that she did. When you were still a youth like Levy, could you ever have dreamed that dregs like this would be in control of your discourse?
The occasional update (7/18/01)
Everyone out of the marsh: Finally, someone stopped fooling around and got down to brass tacks. Last night, Paula Zahn brought on "a psychic medium known around the world for her ability to help find missing children." Since Zahns usual psychic medium is Rosemary Altea, you just knew that something big was up. Sure enoughSylvia Browne had some news:
ZAHN: If you were to consult with the PD, what would you tell them to do? Where should they be looking?
BROWNE: Well, see, I never ambulance chase. They always, you know, call me. If I were to take a helicopter straight up and to look at this park [Rock Creek Park], which makes sort of a square, except its got a little bit of a point to itI havent seen the, you know, the topography of it. But to the left of this, if I were facing west, lets say, theres a marshy area. There are some trees down in a marshy area.
In other words, when you step on this land, it looks like it could have been a seabed or something. Its a marshy area. This is where the body is. This girlI am sorry to tell you this, but this girl is not alive.
As would be second nature for any top journalist, Zahn wanted to know where Browne got her facts. "How do you know that, Sylvia?" she asked. "Has this been something that youve been spending time thinking about and analyzing?"
"Because Im a psychic," Browne replied. "I know where sheI know shes there."
And no, were not making this up.
We think its good that Zahn solved the case. Earlier on, shed been slamming Condit for the cruelty hes shown to Levys parents by refusing to share all his knowledge. It would have been hypocritical for Zahn to hold back these facts. And by the waydid you ever think youd see the day when TV "journalists" would act like thiswould shed big tears for suffering parents, then bait them with this kind of segment?
Commentary by Paula Zahn, Sylvia Browne
The Edge, Fox News Channel, 7/17/01