UNCLE TOMS CRABBIN! Uncle Tom Friedman calls Whitewater bogusseventeen years too late: // link // print // previous // next //
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2009
The sound of two hands waving: Yesterday, we were puzzled by part of the transcript from Glenn Becks meeting with those moms (see THE DAILY HOWLER, 9/29/09). In his usual semi-hinged way, Beck was discussing two major topicsthe impending death of the dollar and the tyranny of making children take all sorts of shots:
For a fuller discussion about all those shots, see yesterdays DAILY HOWLER. But just for the record, we finally remembered why Beck said Two hands. Two hands. All right, in that part of the discussion.
In fact, a sea of hands went up when Beck asked if the dollar might cease to exist. But one of the moms felt so sure that she put both hands in the air! When Beck said That is incredible, he referred to the large show of hands. When he said Two hands. All right, he was hailing that two-handed waver.
In the short segment we posted yesterday, Beck was pushing two major ideas. First, the dollar may cease to exist. Second, you shouldnt send your children to school because they have to take so many shots.
Our question: Has the New York Times been slow to react to these conservative concerns?
If we lived in a rational world, what would a newspaper do?
PART 3UNCLE TOMS CRABBIN: Do you currently live in an idiocracy? To us, the evidence is rather clear. In his 2006 film of that name, Mike Judge almost made this form of government sound like a bad thing (see THE DAILY HOWLER, 9/29/09). But whatever you think of idiocracy itself, youve lived under its aegis for quite some time. Just consider the evidence:
On Monday, Paul Krugman spoke about coming climate disaster. [W]ere hurtling toward catastrophe, he correctly noted, but nobody wants to hear about it or do anything to avert it.
That would be one obvious sign of full-blown idiocracy.
On Tuesday, Bob Herbert devoted an entire column to fawning praise for the worlds richest person. We should follow Bill Gates on education, Herbert wrote. But he completely forgot to say what Gates thinks about the subject.
Herbert writes this column every year. Do you live in an idiocracy? That column came straight from the textbook.
But it isnt just climate disaster and education. Our society seems unwilling/unable to discuss any serious topic. Plainly, that includes health care. Latest example tomorrow.
Then, today, its Thomas Friedman, one of your cultures best known penseurs. Do you live in an idiocracy? Friedman, one of our most soulful fellows, has started to wonder about the way his society reasons. Flummoxed by something he sees on the web, he ends up typing this:
[M]e wonder whether we can seriously discuss serious issues any longer, Friedman rather oddly says. At any rate, he blames this breakdown on various trends which have converged in the last decade.
Translation: Friedman slept through the previous decade. Indeed, we thought of that long, destructive slumber when we read this earlier part of his column:
Frightened by Fox, Friedman singles out Dobbs. And he creates some odd bits of moral equivalence. But it was his statement about Whitewater which grabbed our analysts eyeballs. Lets ponder that statement again:
Intriguing! Whitewater was a bogus scandal, used by the right to hound Bill Clinton. It was so bogus he even puts the word scandal inside scare-quotes!
Of course, that pseudo-scandal was an artifact of the 1990s, not of Friedmans troubling last decade. The analysts woke us with an excellent question: What did Friedman say about this bogus scandal when it mattered, back in real time?
Most likely, the answer wont surprise you. When you live in an idiocracy, the largest newspapers hire Uncle Tomshackswho avert their gaze from the workings of power. What did this particular hand say about Whitewater when it matteredwhen President Clinton was being hounded? Readers, thats an excellent question! Though the answer wont likely surprise.
Friedman has been a columnist at the Times roughly since the invention of noise. According to the Nexis records, his first reference to Bill Clinton occurred in March 1992. But his first reference to Whitewater didnt occur for five years after that! And how weird! This is what he wrote at that time, about this bogus non-scandal:
By May 1997, Whitewater had already given its name to an era. But in this, Friedmans first explicit reference, he forgot to call it a bogus scandal used by the right to hound our president. Instead, he used Whitewater to ridicule Clinton! He even hit the computer key which produced a Standard Spin-Bite of the era: In Whitewater, the cover-up is worse than the original deal, Friedman recited this day.
In that column, Friedman somehow forgot to say that Whitewater was a bogus pseudo-scandal. Eleven months later, he forgot again, when he made his next reference to Whitewater. By now, the world had heard of Miss Lewinsky. The Headlong Chase was on:
From that prose, its hard to tease the notion that Whitewater was a bogus scandal. Why, it almost seemed that Friedman called it a self-inflicted moral gunshot! But then, Friedman was even pimping such buffoons as Willey and Flowers this day. In all the excitement, he completely forgot to tell Times readers how bogus Whitewater was!
According to the Nexis archives, Friedmans next explicit reference to Whitewater occurred in 2005. According to Nexis, todays column represents his coming-outhis first announcement that the Whitewater scandal was actually bogus.
Can we talk? Friedman almost seems like an Uncle Tom, a willing tool to dominant interests. And of course, the ascension of such men to power would be one mark of idiocracy.
As we talk, can we offer some context? Friedman announces, this very day, that the Whitewater scandal was bogus. His announcement is less than timely:
In short, Friedman is rather late to the game with todays announcement. But thats exactly how things work inside an idiocracy! Inside the mainstream press corps, everybody knew the rules in the 1990syou had to bury Lyons work, which went right after the mainstream press corps. By now, a great many years have passed. At long last, its safe for store-bought fellows like Friedman to tell Times readers the truthbut only in passing, of course.
Lets be fair! We only single Friedman out because his column appears today. On Monday night, the gruesome dandy Lawrence ODonnell played a related game on Countdown. And of course, that programs $5 million man ran off and hid in the late 1990s, blubbering in the arms of Roger Ailes rather than staying to tell the truth about what was happening around him. (Olbermann publicly apologized to Ailes for criticizing Matt Drudge, then accepted big-bucks employment at Fox Sports. He kept his pretty trap shut tight all through the Clinton impeachment and the subsequent War Against Gore. Today, of course, hes on your sidepaid $5 million to play there.)
In short, the liberal world played the lead role in the hunting down of Clinton, then Gore. You may live in an idiocracy if:
The people who agreed to perform those tasks can be hailed as liberal giants, with no questions ever asked.
On Monday, we thought Paul Krugman was right on target, as he typically isbut insufficiently shrill. Yes, its striking when a society refuses to discuss climate change. But in fact, your society cant discuss any issue! Bob Herbert cant discuss education; to this day, we have seen no one attempt to explain the gonzo state of our health care spending. It isnt that we dont discuss it well. We dont discuss it at all!
This morning, Friedman makes a rather odd statement. [M]e wonder whether we can seriously discuss serious issues any longer, he clumsily says. He wonders whether we can do that? Isnt the truth rather clear?
In the midst of all this idiocracy, the liberal world still hails the people who conspired to take down Clinton, then Gore. No questions are asked of our liberal heroes, who now play progressives on TV! They, no less than Roman Polanksi, have remained free to roam the world. Now, Polanski has stepped in a trap. Their free range continues.
Do you live in an idiocracy? When the Corns start resembling the Dowds, wed have to Judge that you do.
TomorrowPart 4: The Corns and the Dowds.