PRETENDERS! The powers that be were working their will in Maureen Dowd’s latest column: // link // print // previous // next //

THE QUIET BOOING THAT OTHERS DON’T HEAR: We were quite struck by this news report in today’s Washington Post. Rightly or wrongly, Perry Bacon describes Hillary Clinton’s reception when she spoke to Take Back America:

BACON (6/21/07): Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) drew only modest boos at a gathering of liberal activists yesterday, a sign of how well her changing position on Iraq is playing in the antiwar wing of her party.

Last year, speaking at the Campaign for America's Future conference, Clinton was loudly hissed when she said it is not "smart strategy" to set a timetable for withdrawing from Iraq. This year, the same group applauded Clinton as she described a bill she introduced to deauthorize the war and the recent vote she cast against funding it, both positions she has adopted since becoming a candidate for president in January...

Activists from Code Pink, an antiwar group whose members often wear pink uniforms, waved signs that said "Lead Us Out of Iraq" and shouted the same message at Clinton as she spoke...

Jodie Evans, one of the founders of Code Pink, said Clinton should do more to stop Congress from funding the war and should apologize for voting to authorize it. The group booed loudest when Clinton criticized the Iraqi government because it was like "blaming the victim," Evans said.

But Bob Fertik, a liberal blogger who attended the conference last year and did not like Clinton's remarks then, said he appreciates where the candidate is going. "This time she tried to be with us," he said.

Obviously, Code Pink (and others) have every right to their views. If they want to boo, that’s fine by us. But we were struck by Bacon’s statement that Clinton “drew only modest boos” during yesterday’s speech. We were struck by that statement because we had spent a fair amount of time on Wednesday trying—and largely failing—to hear the boos during Clinton’s speech, alleged boos which were being touted in several media outlets. On Hardball, for example, Brother Matthews seemed to think—or seemed prepared to pretend—that Clinton has been booed rather lustily. But when he played the tape of the dramatic moment, it was hard to hear any booing at all, let along the raucous booing that would justify a segment on a brilliant news program like Hardball.

But so what? All the “hardballers” pretended to hear; even Ron Reagan failed to challenge his host’s tortured premise. No, you couldn’t really hear any boos on the tape. This morning, Bacon’s report seems to say that the alleged boos pretty much just weren’t there.

How loud was the booing? There will be no pure measure. But yesterday, we watched a panel discuss boos on a tape—boos on a tape we could barely hear. Are boos now in the mind of the beholder? More and more now, the answer is: Yes.

ANASTASIA SPEAKS: In the comical part of Maureen Dowd’s column, the brilliant grand duchess angrily typed about Hillary Clinton’s disturbing new song. Our analysts shared a good solid laugh when they got the chance to see how grandly Dowd views herself:

DOWD (6/20/07): The satire was a video on Hillary's Web site to whip up attention for the winner of her online contest to choose a campaign song.

Unfortunately, the winner, ''You and I,'' is definitely not for you and me. (I look forward to Obama's new campaign ditty, ''I Am Thou.'') It doesn't bode well for the cultural health of the country that Hillary picked a song by Celine Dion, who combines the worst of Vegas and Canada.

It was an acid flashback to the cultural wasteland of Bill Clinton's reign, when instead of Pablo Casals, we got Kenny G.

Poor Dowd! Soul-mate to JFK’s brilliant Casals, she’d been forced to live in a cultural wasteland during the vile Clinton years! Dowd, of course, is dumb as a rock—a simpering complex of upscale inanities. But this fact haven’t made its way deep inside Versailles, to the place where Dowd does her twice-a-week typing. In her own apartments, Dowd is Anastasia, dreaming of restoration.

“Hillary picked a song by Celine Dion,” Dowd sniffed—choosing to reinvent the facts. (As she had said one paragraph earlier, the song was picked in an “online contest.”) But then, when you’re the ignored imperial highness—the heir to JFK’s cultural greatness—you’re plainly allowed to bend the facts as you hunt down those Arkansas hicks. Indeed, Dowd has been rearranging key facts for the past fifteen years—first about both Clintons, then about Gore. In the process, she gave us George Bush. And she gave us the war in Iraq.

But that was the comical part of Dowd’s column; the un-American parts were more prominent. You see, when you know you’re the secret Grand Duchess, you’re willing to cut a corner or two as you work for restoration. Horrible! Once, our great Irish prince gave us brilliant Casals; these later pretenders made us hear Kenny G! The anger wells when you think of such things. And you calmly type monsters like this:

DOWD: The Clintons' ''don't ask, don't tell'' policy seems so similar to that of the Sopranos, that it could be a bit risky to play the mob couple, even for a gag.

Like Carmela, who was rewarded with jewels, watches and building permits for her husband's infidelities with his goomahs, Hillary, too, found a way to profit from her husband's failings and flaws.

At a lunch Carmela had with her girlfriends at Vesuvio, the women spoke admiringly of Hillary as a role model, someone who was able to turn a sow's ear of a marriage into a silk purse.

And like Tony, Hillary is so power-hungry that she can justify any thuggish means to get the prize.

Wow! Clinton is “so power-hungry that she can justify any thuggish means to get the prize!” In that way, she’s like Tony Soprano—Tony Soprano, a mobster! No doubt, Dowd’s editors made her give examples of this sort of “thuggish” conduct; surely, you aren’t allowed to make statements like that without backing up what you’re saying. But no, Anastasia gave no examples this day; she only offered her latest insult. Hillary Clinton’s a gangster, she said. Or rather, she said it again.

Because yes, this is the latest narrative from the circle which gave you George Bush. A few weeks back, Dowd’s friend, Chris Matthews, chaired a discussion in which Clinton was compared to Luca Brasi—and directly called “the godfather.” (These remarkable insults stemmed from a ginned-up reading of an innocuous passage in Carl Bernstein’s new book.) And then, this past Sunday, Dowd offered a column in which she said that Clinton “employs a staff of hit men” and “moves like a shark;” as she closed, she wittily linked Clinton to Al Capone. In that column, Dowd hadn’t failed to offer examples; instead, her examples were built on cracked logic. Clinton had been compared to a mobster because she had been attacked by someone else. Yes, we know—that doesn’t make sense. But darlings, remember the writer! And remember how much is at stake!

Dowd and Matthews are disturbed, strange, unwell; today, we laughingly see that Dowd’s such a nut that she thinks of herself as an aesthete. That’s right! Dowd, the dumbest rock in the box, still recalls the time when her Irish prince brought the brilliant Casals to our world. And now, when she thinks of Celine Dion, the outrage of the Kenny G era floods back. Why not misstate the facts of the case when such an outrage is being furthered? And why not compare these people to mobsters? Darlings! They enjoyed Kenny G!

That column by Dowd was a living disgrace—a blast from a ruling clique’s infernal regions. And make no mistake—these are the people who gave you George Bush in a vicious, two-year campaign against Gore. Indeed, this group will rule all our lives until we decide to unseat them.

PRETENDERS: This morning, at the bagel joint, they were playing an 80s tape. We started awake at some favorite old lyrics, delivered from the past—and the future:

The powers that be
That force us to live like we do
Bring me to my knees
When I see what they've done to you

Yesterday morning, the powers that be were driving their favorite new tale, via Dowd. For two years, they told the world that Gore was a liar. Now, they’re telling the world that Clinton’s a hoodlum. And their “editors” let this go on.

But then, many liberals are letting this go on—because it’s currently aimed at Clinton. In our view, it’s hard to find words for how foolish this is—or, for that matter, how craven.

SICKOS: We Irish! We hate Bill Clinton for his philandering—and we long for the days of Dearest Jack. We know, we know—that doesn’t make sense. But please understand: It’s the sheer inanity of the Dowds and the Matthewses that makes them such perfect tools for the powers who silently rule you.

In this tape, you can see the look on Matthews’ face at Tuesday’s AFSCME event, when he was jeered by his “sweaty” inferiors. (Their misconduct starts about 8:40 in.) And just so you’ll know, the following sentence from Dowd’s column explains her group’s concern about obscene Hillary Clinton:

DOWD: Hillary, too, found a way to profit from her husband's failings and flaws.

Vile outrage! That was Dowd, on Wednesday morning. But Matthews had expressed the same deep concern on Joe Scarborough’s morning show one day earlier. Poor Christopher! He was about to be jeered by a lesser order. (Darlings, let’s all thank God for Nantucket!) But before he had to mix with this breed, he took the chance to unburden himself about the thing Clinton has done:

MATTHEWS (6/19/07): She benefitted in the sickest way from Clinton’s messing up with Monica—she gets to be a senator!

In the sickest way! And don’t worry! This is what these sickos discuss at their cohort’s brilliant soirees—after they finish railing against Kenny G and Dion, of course.

You have to search the annals of literature for a case in which so daft an “elite” has been enlisted by the powers that be. But this goony group has been very useful; they’re worth every penny their masters have paid them. They’ve reordered our minds for the past fifteen years. We went along when they savaged Gore. And uh-oh! Unless we misjudge, we’re keeping our mouths shut RE Clinton.

Special report: The assault on...Al Gore!

TOMORROW—PART 3: Yesterday, we were called away on a mission of national import. Tomorrow, our report will continue.