TUESDAY, MARCH 16, 2004
RAIN MAN: Warningthis is just a warm-up! But readers, prepare to walk through a window in time! Heres the start to Clyde Habermans column in this mornings New York Times. Time-travelers, note what we said. This column is in todays paper:
HABERMAN (pgh 1): Al Gore may have been the popular-vote winner of the 2000 presidential election, but among the many things he couldnt get right that year was his wardrobe. Searching for his inner alpha male, he kept bouncing around, from casual earth tones to dark business suits.Good God! Today, Haberman takes the leadership role as the Times Intelligence Quotient continues its search for the bottom. David Halbfinger talks about Botox. David Brooks prices Kerrys shirts. Elisabeth Bumiller limns Bushs bedtime. And Haberman? He again recites the earth tones bullroar! As weve told you: If they didnt exist, you could never invent them. There is no way to dream this group up.
No, readers, Candidate Gore didnt keep bouncing around from casual earth tones to dark business suits. At least, he didnt do so any more than any other modern candidate does; you may have noticed that this years hopefuls wore different clothes for different events (see THE DAILY HOWLER, 9/11/02). And no, there was never any evidence that Naomi Wolf told Gore to wear earth tones, or that she headed some strange attempt to make him an alpha male. Those tales were made up, by your press corps. Why would they do such a puzzling thing? They were conducting a War Against Gore.
For the full story of the tones, we provide a link below. But the hapless people who make up your press corps display an array of odd behaviors. One of their primary traits is this: Once they invent a pleasing tale, they never stop repeating it. Weird, isnt it? Theyre prime savants at remembering odd spinbut almost incapable of discerning real facts! All together now, in your best rain man accentpretend that youre the hapless Haberman: Earth tones, yeah, yeahdefinitely earth tones. But incredibly, scribes of this caliber are now in charge of the most important public discourse in the world.
But readers, Habermans column is Straight Outa Mensa compared to Donald Lambros report. Your Washington press corps is deeply dysfunctional; yesterday, Lambro worked to prove it. In no other profession could a well-known player dare to behave as Lambro did. But other professions have standards and oversight; your Washington press corps clowns in your face. Yes, well name a long list of names. To see their broken culture, keep reading.
LAMBRO LIES IN YOUR FACE: How corrupt is your Washington press corps? At the Washington Times, the gang is currently stirring a flap about that troubling thing Kerry said. According to Kerry, foreign leaders have said they hope that hell defeat Bush; since Kerry wont reveal who these leaders are, the Bush campaign (and of course, the Times) is trying to build a big flap. So there was Lambros front-page report in yesterdays Times. Like some before him, Kerry snared by large boasts, the tangy headline said.
And yes, the scribe was soon pushing a time-honored theme: Kerrys a Big Liar, just like Al Gore. Lambro offered troubling examples of past phony things major Democrats said. Gore, of course, was the scribes poster-child. But who was lying? Duh! Not Gore! Heres how Lambro began his string of deceptions:
LAMBRO (pgh 9): Mr. Kerrys statements raised comparisons to previous presidential candidates whose claims hurt or even ended their campaigns for the White House.Say what? Readers may notice a striking factthat quotation from Gore is simply made up! (Well, in fairness, Gore did say the word the as part of his comment about the Internet.) Lambro uses quotation marks, pretending to quote something Gore really said. But Gore did not say that he played the lead role; that quote is a pure Donald Lambro invention. But then, the clowning tale of Gore and the Net was a press corps invention from start to end. Four years later, Lambro embellishes the tale even further, ginning up a new phony quote that has never been used in the past. (For a link on this topic, see below.)
But then, Lambro is a consummate fraud, as weve frequently noted. He relentlessly lies to readers of the Times, who love to be treated like rubes. How dishonest is Donald Lambro? Amazingly, as he typed along, he served up these old, crackpot howlers:
LAMBRO (11): On another occasion he described how his father, the late Sen. Albert Gore of Tennessee, taught me to clean out hog waste with a shovel and how to clear land with a two-bladed ax.In this passage, Lambro revives another slander from Campaign 2000a slander which was so total a hoax that even your press corps dropped it. Is it true? Did Gores father make his son work on the familys Tennessee farm? During Campaign 2000, every biographer described this part of Gores life, and it was widely discussed in newspaper profiles. As early as March 1999, for example, Bob Zelnick published his Gore bio for Regnery, the well-known conservative publisher. But Zelnick made the farm chores the central metaphor of Gores life, closing his book with a final image of Gore plowing the family farms dangerous hillsides (see THE DAILY HOWLER, 3/25/99; more links below). And in early 2000, Bill Turque published Inventing Al Gore; it became the definitive Gore bio. Heres how Turque described Gores childhood summers. His description was never disputed:
TURQUE: While many of Little Als classmates were packed off to summer camp when school let out, he headed for the familys eight-hundred-acre tobacco and cattle farm about two and a half miles east of Carthage, Tennessee. The trips were less vacations than character-building boot camps designed by Albert Gore [Sr.] to give his privilege-softened son a taste of his own struggles in Possum Hollow. Ironically, Al Gores Republican antagonists have seized on his recollections of the hard work he did on the farm as another bogus tale about his life. In fact, Gore was up at dawn tending to livestock and hosing out hog parlors.Comical, isnt it? Four years later, Gores Republican antagonists continue to lie in the publics face about these events, hoping to use them to tarnish Kerry! By the way, how tough were those chores? Turque just kept on describin:
TURQUE: For parts of virtually every summer through high school, Gore worked with the farmhands and was often assigned an extra project assigned by his father...Even the local kids, who might have enjoyed watching a city slicker sweat some, were appalled at how hard Gore was worked. It was horrendous, said one woman who knew him well as a teenager.As the campaign continued, a string of profiles in major publications described this well-known part of Gores life. Only the hardest liars of the hardest-lying right kept repeating the bogus tales which had flourished during the early campaign. But four years later, there is Lambro, typing the fake, phony tales once againand using them to help readers see that Kerry and Gore are both Big Liars! Meanwhile, dont think for a minute that Donald Lambro doesnt know the facts of this case. Lambro is a paid public liar. This week, hes trying to corrupt another important White House race.
In yesterdays column, Lambro was hardly finished when he recited these old, bogus tales. For example, he repeated a hoary old (bogus) tale about Gores 1996 convention speech, and he recited a phony claim about Clinton and those Arkansas church burnings. But rememberLambro is a paid public liar. And heres the key point, which you must understand: No one else in Lambros profession will ever say one word about him.
Who said nothing, four years ago? Lets name a few of the quiet people who dont hear the voices the rest of us hear:
E. J. Dionne said nothing.And oh yes, The American Prospect said nothing. In fact, some of these people did less than say nothing; some repeated the fake tales themselves! And yes, George Bush is in the White House because of what these people did.
Yesterday, Lambro conducted his latest offense against your American democracy. Again, theyre trying to gin your election. But make no mistake. Your major journalists are very well paid. They seem to enjoy their luxury postings. They worry about what happened in Spainbut couldnt care less about your election. Could Donald Lambro behave this way in any other American profession? Probably not. But he and his corrupted colleagues are going to lie in your faces again, and an obvious question has now been joined: Will Dionne, Shields and Hunt dare confront it?
TOMORROW: Theyre crooks and liars, Kerry said. Gee! Do you have any idea who he could have meant? Tomorrow, we return to this weeks scheduled topicand well emit low chuckles as pundits play dumb over Kerrys very strange, puzzling comment.
VISIT OUR INCOMPARABLE ARCHIVES: Democrats needs to understand the way their party lost the White House:
For a review of the press corps farm chores fakery, see THE DAILY HOWLER, 5/26/00 and 5/30/00.And of course, for a taste of your most dysfunctional public sector, read Don Lambros Monday Times piece. The papers readers, pleased to be rubes, eagerly lapped up their vittles.
FINAL NOTE: Lambros assertions are baldly false. For that reason, were fairly sure that Howard Kurtz will swing into action.