WERE WITH STUPID! Reading the Times, we thought it again. Were all stuck with Stupid: // link // print // previous // next //
THURSDAY, JANUARY 17, 2008
COMING TOMORROW—PHILOSOPHER FRIDAYS: (And Richard Cohen on Obama.) Do not miss the first installment of this new, life-changing series!
PROJECT FOR EXCELLENCE GETS SOMETHING RIGHT: With that surprising headline in mind, we recommend Greg Sargents piece about that groups new study, a study regarding the coverage of Edwards. In our view, Edwards has been mugged by narrative in a way few candidates ever have. Your press corps loves to write easy novels, and first women versus first African-American was about as simple as narrative gets. And alas—that novel had no place for Edwards. The gentleman therefore got disappeared. Except for his haircuts, of course.
WERE WITH STUPID: Even during our grimmest Gethsemanes, we never thought wed see a sentence like the one Roger Cohen typed for todays New York Times. We ourselves have written such sentences; we do so below. But weve always done so as parody:
Good God! That sentence can barely be scanned. But worse, it comes straight from a mold.
Yep! During Campaign 2000, every reporter knew one thing: John McCain was an authentic straight-talking straight-shooting truth-teller—a maverick former POW who felt very comfortable in his own skin. Today, Cohen strings three of these gong-points together in a nearly unreadable sentence—a sentence which made us hang our head as we pondered the inept New York Times.
How bad is the work at the New York Times? The papers a gong-show. Consider:
Before we read Cohens column today, wed already read this pitiful mess from Maureen Dowd wannabe Gail Collins. Or rather, wed scanned the piece as best we could. Like her nearly lunatic role model, Collins is now quite hard to get through.
And the punishment only continued. Immediately after reading Cohen, we read this gruesome editorial about the Dems recent race-and-gender wars. Feelings hang in the air in the piece—feelings about unexplained strange references. (What was strange? Were the feelings justified? At the Times, nobody tells.) Meanwhile, at the end of the piece, Obama and Clinton are jointly criticized—for making the worlds most obvious statement. This piece may have been written by Andrew Rosenthal, who succeeded the unreadable Collins as head of the Times editorial page. Like his hapless newspapers owner, Rosenthal is a less-than-competent legacy—the son of a famous ex-Timesman, of someone who once earned his spot. (You really ought to laugh out loud any time the Times talks about dynasties.)
But readers, you dont have to be Prince Charles to do gruesome work at the Times. Lord God of hosts! We next turned to the papers news section—and Patrick Healy, a simpering stooge, had effortlessly blathered out this. This is truly gruesome work—and, like Cohens comical sentence, it came to us straight from a mold:
Jesus, thats awful! And, like Cohens comical sentence, that passage comes, as a matter of style, straight from the play-books of Campaign 2000, where hacks like Healy worked to convince you that Candidate Gore didnt know who he was—that he was a fake, just a handlers confection. Especially in the spring of 2000, hacks like Healy hacked it out endlessly. For one quick example, heres the gruesome Howard Fineman, appearing on The News with Brian Williams. Healys hackworthy hackwork today comes straight from this hackmeisters mold:
Today, of course, theres another Al Gore: Nobel Peace Prize Winner Al. But the giant dim bulbs of your pseudo-news business worked very hard, all through that campaign, to get this structure into your head (see THE DAILY HOWLER, 6/7/00). This morning, Healy hacks it out once again. Its stunning what hacks these fools be.
Over the years, weve discussed many aspects of the mainstream press corps. We liberals have often complained, in recent years, about the biases of these typists—and those biases are worth examining, in substantial detail. But something more basic than that is in play—the sheer stupidity, the lack of mental talent, displayed by these ludicrous pool boys. Cohens sentence is through-the-looking-glass hackwork—hackwork his cohort has hacked out endlessly over the course of the past dozen years. But all around the New York Times, one is struck by the endless low caliber of their intellectual work. Most of these hirelings are deeply unimpressive. In a word, these folk are just dumb.
Many people have a hard time coming to terms with this obvious fact. For many of us, its counterintuitive to be told that New York Times writers just arent very smart. But focus in on that blather by Healy, then understand that youre seeing two things. Youre seeing the work of a baby assassin—as was true when Fineman, along with so many others, laid the groundwork for todays hackistry. But understand this basic point too: Intelligent people just wont work this way. If people are smart, they just wont do it. The Healys and Cohens? Its hard for many people to process, but among other things, theyre just dead-dog dumb. Thats why theyre hired—and thats how they work. When they type, were all stuck With Stupid.
Bonus link: Greg Sargent limns Healys latest.
THE LATEST SUCCESSFUL D-STUDENT: Then theres Yglesias, with this sad, groaning piece, expressing the latest consensus.
Our question: Could an undergraduate at a mid-level university get by with such cosmically lazy work? With work which ties such sweeping claims to such an absence of effort or evidence? As with other gentlemen of his fine class, Yglesias makes a pair of sweeping assertions, claims which seem to define a new liberal consensus: Tim Russerts work is unbearably inane, but it betrays no partisan animus. But the mahoganied gentleman makes little effort to defend either one of these sweeping assertions. For ourselves, wed have to call him our own Baby Bush—the latest successful D-student.
Because we think these questions matter, well explore them in more detail next week. In the meantime, you might want to read the transcript of Russerts hour with John McCain from last May, which forms the basis for one of Matts claims. In fact, Russerts work isnt persistently inane, as is clear in the course of this session. For that reason, a pattern emerges when we note the occasions on which this powerful host does screw up. Meanwhile, enjoy a good laugh when you notice this fact: The word repeatedly seems to mean twice when it appears in Matts work. Here at THE HOWLER, weve seen thumb-on-the-scale hacks play you that way year after year after year.
By the way: Did you simply laugh out loud when Yglesias discussed the October 30 debate? Readers, when they hand you gong-show nonsense like that, theyre treating you like a gang of rubes—like things they own and use for their pleasure. For ourselves, we have no idea why our liberal Baby Bushes have settled on this latest consensus. But they still avoid the most obvious facts of mainstream press work of the past sixteen years. Their liberal employers avoided them too. Unless youre just seeking an imaginary hip white friend, you might want to ask why they do that.